Monday, March 31, 2014

Be Awesome! Part 2

Earlier this month, I wrote how I had begun to ask my daughters two questions: How were you awesome today? How were you awesome to someone else? (Be Awesome!)

These questions have helped us to start conversations each day after school.  I admit that I had become quite  a lazy dad when it came to asking my daughters how their day had been.  I had taken to just listening to them tell their grandparents about it.  By telling the girls I would be asking them the questions daily, I knew it would hold me accountable to have those conversations.

They have really taken to the questions.  They get excited about answering them, and they really enjoy telling me how they have helped someone else.  Many times, they want to answer that one first!

Since writing the last post, a couple of wrinkles have occurred.  The first is the addition of a third question.  I noticed a couple times where my youngest wanted to tell me how she WASN'T awesome.  At first, I wouldn't allow it.  I thought it was important to think about the good things and how good they could be.

Then, I began to rethink things.  I thought this would be a great opportunity for the girls to learn another aspect of self reflection.  No matter how well they had done, they could always do better.  So, I began to ask them how they could have been MORE awesome.  I thought they wouldn't like this new question, but they really took to it.  It was like they wanted an opportunity to confess.

The second twist was a tough one for me.  My youngest started asking me the questions!  It took everything in me not to play the parent card and refuse to answer the questions.  Like I wrote in the last post, I am learning more every day I must lead by example.  So I gulped and answered the questions.

I want to raise my children to be open, honest and vulnerable.  I am doing so by showing them what those traits look like.  Too many dads hide their feelings and especially their failures from their kids.  I fail, and it's ok.  And it's ok for them to know it.  How else will they learn to learn from their failures?

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Be Awesome!

Recently the word "awesome", has been front and center in my life.  I took my girls to see The Lego® Movie, and the theme song was "Everything is Awesome" (included here for your viewing pleasure).  In one of the books I was reading, it talked about wearing an undershirt (so it wouldn't be seen) that reads "Be Awesome".


A buddy of mine is in the process of writing The Book of Dadverbs (click the link to join the process), where he looks at the verbs that are most crucial to being a dad.  I took all of this as a sign, and I began to think about how I could be awesome and raise awesome kids.

The first thing I started doing was telling my kids, everyday before I send them to class, they are awesome. It's become kind of a mantra.   "You are awesome.  You can be awesome. Be awesome."  It's my way of encouraging my daughters daily.  I want one of the last things they hear before school is that I love them and think they are awesome!

Then I decided this wasn't enough.  Recently, I told them that after school on the ride home, I would ask them two questions.  How were they awesome?  How were they awesome to someone else?  With awesomeness comes awesome responsibility.  I want them to know it's not enough to BE good.  They need to DO good.

But I can't just leave it at a question.  I have to model it for them.  Recently, we went to do a little shopping at an outdoor shopping center.  As we were walking into one of the stores, I blind man walked in just ahead of us and inquired about the location of a different store.  OPPORTUNITY FOR AWESOMENESS!  The girls and I lead the man down the row of shops to his destination and described things as we went.  Once he had concluded his business, we walked him back to where we had met him.

I love having these conversations at the end of the day with my girls, and my hope is this becomes habit for them.  By the way, they've been instructed not tell anyone about any of this.  I could just picture one of my girls saying they were helping someone so they could answer their dad's questions at the end of the day.

I am sure there are some that will say what I am doing is wrong, but that's true for everything we do, eat , say, hear, and watch.  I don't know how all this will play out, but right now, I've got my girls thinking, being and doing!  They get no prizes, no rewards.  They get my praise and the warm, fuzzy feeling of helping other people.